Match game

First of all, a hearty congratulations to all the students and their families who were accepted to Harvard and other schools with similar panache and bling. The accomplishment cannot be overstated in today's world of ultra competitive college admissions.  This post is written for the huddled masses who are trying to figure out how to be successful and happy in life without that coveted Ivy League degree, networking opportunities, and t-shirt. For you, let me suggest that the college application process should be seen as more of a match game than a contest with winners and losers. As such, the first step is to think in very broad terms about what you want from your college. Initial conclusions might range from the cheapest, fastest, and most direct path to a paying job to an exotic, expensive and exploratory experience far from home. Look for an overall fit in terms of available courses of study, faculty, fellow students, campus life, extracurricular activities, prestige, reputation, graduate school placement, and whether or not your collective talents and achievements give you a fighting chance of being accepted.  Also consider COST (up to $50,000/year which is a major consideration for most) and FAMILY SITUATION (if your mother was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and your father needs you to help take care of your younger siblings, do not go to school on the opposite side of the continent). Visit as many of your schools of interest as time and money allow. Many students have talked about the strong positive or negative "feeling" they experienced while being on a campus as a major factor in their ultimate decision.  Fast forward past all he hard work of applying. You have now arrived at the happiest stage of the application process. By virtue of being an applicant, you are associated with a long list of fancy schools and no one has rejected you yet. With confidence and authority, you can walk around saying things like "I'm considering attending MIT or Berkeley for engineering." Reality will come knocking on your door soon enough in the form of acceptance and rejection letters. Celebrate every acceptance like you've won the Publishers' Clearinghouse. As for the rejections, it's not that you weren't good enough, it's more that the most selective schools have such a high applicant to acceptance ratio that they end up splitting hairs in order to eliminate candidates. Don't conclude that fencing was the "wrong" sport, that piano lessons were a waste of time, or that Amherst doesn't like your ethnic group. Still, a rejection letter from your dream school feels like a dagger in your heart and crime against your soul. What you do after you are done mourning will help define who you are and how you deal with adversity in your life. First and foremost, forget about the schools that didn't invite you to their party. "It's their loss" is a healthy mantra to embrace in the depths of despair. From the list of schools that were smart enough to accept you, choose the one that is the best overall fit and that you can afford. Then embark on a mission to 1) make the most of your opportunities there 2) make the school a better place by virtue of your contribution to school life and 3) be a loyal, fanatic, and generous alumnus until you die.